Muddled Musings
Never know what you might find...

Sunday, October 26, 2003  

I am bloody homesick. Two weeks to go till exams are over, and the list of things to get done it a mile long, and i am sure I have forgotten something. The amount of work for the exams soon, (ahhhhh) is very very (ahhhh) big. Almost too big. Sigh. I just want to go home. I am sick of working, and sick of studying, but the playing is good. I played in brass class today, and it felt good to play. I feel confident. So that's what practice is for. I think though, that everyone in the class has inferiority problems, that they think everyone is so much better than them, and what if I got up to play and nothing came out? That's how I felt when i watched people play, I wanted to pick up my own instrument just to make sure that I can still make it work.
I rang the austrian consulate, and they suggested that I go talk to Aldi, and see if they can organise for me to get Mark overseas. Its a long shot, but at least its a chance. The last three weeks has been shit, waiting for the exams to just be over, what happens if I have to go overseas without him, by myself, and try and manage in a foreign country with foreign concepts and try to survive. I could do it, and even if he can't come, I will do it...but if i don't have to then i would be grateful to just know that he would be with me in it. Like I plan to have him with me in everything. Maybe permanently someday soon...

posted by Sarah | 11:19:00 PM

Wednesday, October 22, 2003  

Do you ever have those days when people will just talk to you? Yesterday was one of those days when I just have strangers asking me a few questions and then they start telling me their life story and they just talk and talk about anything. And usually I just listen. Maybe that's it, they just want someone to talk to. Maybe they just see that I'm the kind of person who will let them talk. Its weird that some days i just get everyone asking directions and all sorts of things. Random strangers.

posted by Sarah | 8:00:00 PM

Thursday, October 16, 2003  

The sun is finally coming out! yay! University is getting harder, the assignments and lists of things to complete keep getting longer, but I am spurred on by the fact that this year will be over soon, and I will have finished the first year with honours! I have been in the library a bit lately with this assignment that has taken me a while to understand. Though it looked harder than the second choice on Mozart's Figaro, it looks like I will be at no loss for words and it should be easy to finish. I have to go compose something now, and I hope for the classes sake it dosn't sound too anal.
Thanks bec for calling me and meeting up with me, it is good to see you every time I am with you. I almost forget sometimes how easy it is to be with you. like, I am familiar with you, and I can be myself.
I am going to be in some kind of research thing. It was advertised as a pitch test, to see what parts of the brain are activated when pitching notes. But what I get out of it is a free brain scan at the Austin hospital. And $60. But the money isn't it, its always good to see if you have a brain, and if it works. Hope it's fun.

posted by Sarah | 7:01:00 PM

Thursday, October 09, 2003  

Well after coming back from a holiday feeling like I had too much to do, I am feeling like i have my shit together. It feels good. I got come marks back from assignments and I did really well, like 85%. The weather has been hot, but today it is cold and windy. I hate being cold. Going home this weekend to see my grandparents who have been away since may, (ha, that rhymes...hehe). Mark and his parents are coming out too. The weird bit, (or only slightly) is they all went and organised it without me. Granted I am a fair way away from it all, but hey. Nah, I like that idea, if i am serious about keeping this boy.
What is hard about a long distance relationship? I was talking to someone about him being so far away, and they said it was boring, and then when I said that I wanted to take him overseas with me, they said that was boring too, like i'm too young to be with just one guy and not happy unless i am sleeping around. Which is stupid. I couldn't be happier. Love is a grand thing.

posted by Sarah | 7:41:00 PM

Sunday, October 05, 2003  

Back to school after a two week break. The last few weeks has been a great holiday, i enjoyed being at home, and loved to see mark more than just every other weekend. I love how I fit in with my family. Things in shepp never change, but they do. The scenery changes but every time i drive through the man street there are a few new shops, or something has closed down or moved. The new Empire trading store is the best shop!
I didn't do much work though. The familiar panic returns, that I havent been studying hard enough and suddenly I only have a few weeks to make good and pass. A lot more rides on it now that I want to go overseas, that I need to pass with 70 or better, and that will only happen if i do something.
And talking about going overseas, it just keeps getting harder, not for me but for mark. I don't know if he will be able to come with me to Austria afterall, if they are going to be so hard on letting people into the counrty. From what I have read on the web lately, they have all said the same thing, you need lists and lists of papers, and qualifications. It is quite depressing to think that something that had me so excited might not be possible afterall. But then I don't HAVE to go to Austria...

posted by Sarah | 7:32:00 PM